Nobody warned me of THIS!

They warned me you would keep me up at night.

They told me you would have to be fed every three hours and could not be left alone for a moment.

They speculated that in the weeks following childbirth, I would feel exhausted, irritable, and moody.

They told me as a mom, it would be a struggle to prioritize self-care.

They warned me of many things.

And yet, nobody warned me of THIS.

Nobody warned me that when I was feeling overwhelmed, you would flash me your brightest smile.

Nobody warned me that at times my heart would fill with so much love, it would nearly burst.

They didn't warn me that you would be way too cute to handle.

Nobody told me about the purity in your eyes or the smiles in your sleep

About the beauty of a life uninhibited by self-consciousness

Unencumbered by expectations

Unjaded and unworn. 

They didn't tell me how wholeheartedly you would laugh and cry and babble and stuff everything you saw into your mouth.

They did not tell me how my love for you would increase my empathy, my recognition that each person is somebody's child

Infinitely pure and beautiful and worthy of love.

They told me a lot about how I would take care of you; they forgot to mention all of the ways in which you would take care of me.

How could they know that from the moment you first cried, and then fell asleep in my arms, I would never again question whether my life has a purpose?

How could they envision how you would lay alongside me gurgling your input as I applied to graduate school and created the website I had been planning for years?

They didn't tell me how you would laugh when I did yoga next to you 

Hanging upside down over your head.

They didn't know we would record slam poetry together.

They could not predict that with you, my dreams would become more, not less, accessible.

I worried a lot before my baby was born.

I worried I would lose myself while caring for a child.

I worried that as a mom I would not have a spare moment to breathe.

During the unremitting exhaustion and nausea of first trimester pregnancy, I worried I would never feel awake again.

While in the thick of hormonally induced apathy, I worried I would always feel too tired to have dreams, let alone pursue them.

I worried I would feel stifled and resentful.

I worried I wouldn't love my baby enough.

You might say that motherhood has exceeded my expectations

I still worry sometimes. Just for fun. I worry I'll fail at whatever I do and things won't work out as I want them too. 

Still my key takeaway is this: Stop trying to preempt and prevent disaster. Stop worrying and speculating and predicting what might go wrong.

Expect the best

Or expect nothing at all.

Because your life is about to get better than you could ever have imagined...